Jeff

[Jeff]

[batreaux]

she wears short skirts, i leave a slime trail 
she’s cheer captain and i’m just a 

[elodieunderglass]

Every time I see this I just quietly message it to a selection of people who are Never Grateful Enough

[Jeff]

[bel-mont-bae]

Hey DnD Community

How many of you have been banned from playing a bard in campaigns? I need to know for science.

[bel-mont-bae]

For anyone that might ask- I had to sign a legally binding contract to not play bard characters if I wanted to join a campaign in my old group.

[lair-master]

this is an outrage.

here’s what you do:

• be a half-elf. the skill versatility trait is similar to the bard’s starting skill proficiencies
  
• play a warlock. again, similar starting proficiencies. charisma is your spellcasting ability. very bardy
  
• your otherworldly patron is the great old one. or the archfey. except call them your “otherworldly muse” or “otherworldly patron of the arts”
  
• pick spells on the bard spell list, such as minor illusion, mage hand, dissonant whispers, or Tasha’s hideous laughter
• take the entertainer background. much bard. wow.
• choose pact of the blade if you’re a valor bard or pact of the tome if you’re a lore bard. i recommend the latter. pick the vicious mockery cantrip (because bard), as well as guidance and resistance (to emulate bardic inspiration)
• for eldritch invocations, take beguiling influence for more skill proficiencies and book of ancient secrets to ape the bard’s magical secrets feature
• if you miss having expertise, splash in a level or six of rogue, perhaps at fifth level
• voila! you’re a bard in all but name. that’ll show ‘em

[bardicknowledgeblogger]

Stealth bard-ing

[Jeff]

[picsthatmakeyougohmm]

hmmm

[tinytheursaring]

these are the illegal lego building techniques

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

We are all going to jail for reblogging this Forbidden Illegal Lego

[Jeff]

[bugkeeping]

yeehaw

[gostink]

Riders on the worm.. .

[Jeff]

[fizzityuck]

we’re all getting “older” but age is a relative thing. i’ve licked things that are 250 million years old. you’re not that old and you’re not worth licking. 

[random-cluster-missile]

Clare this is by far the most terrifying post you have ever made

[iraesid]

Is this person an archaeologist and referring to the “lick test” for fossils or does she go down on the old gods…?

[fizzityuck]

[Jeff]

DND

[probablybadrpgideas]

But the DM has a soundboard that contains the laughs, cheers and boos of a sitcom’s live studio audience

[cincosechzehn]

op change your url

[Jeff]

[paintmeahero]

Dungeons and Dragons: A new generation.

[Jeff]

[vigarath]

Size comparison of Y’gathok, the Ceaseless Hunger and Bjorn, our level 20 Goliath Barbarian.

[professorsparklepants]

Hey quick question: why the FUCK do you have that

[strangestquarkwave]

Imagine, from out of nowhere, your dm casually slapping this thing down on the table like any other encounter.

[probablyottrpgideas]

“Yeah, the fight will start in a sec, uh…I’ll give inspiration to whomever helps me get this fucking box out of my car.”

[dastardlypineapple]

https://www.reddit.com/r/DnD/comments/7asxci/oc_ygathok_the_ceaseless_hunger_final_boss_of_our/

This is the reveal of this ridiculousness during their game

[jelloapocalypse]

Please watch this reveal video it’s kickass

[creepsandcrawlers]

FUCK ME  the reveal video

[threefeline]

“CHRIS??????”

[tanoraqui]

“Um, I don’t think our plan is gonna work.”

[8bitmickey]

[island-delver-go]

Always reblog Y'gathok

[miatasenpai]

DM:*Pulls out Y’gothok* *Turns on “Open Your Heart” by Crush 40*

[jeffthemaster]

Fucking Christ…

[Jeff]

Karma is a Beautiful Bitch

[yourplayersaidwhat]

So, I am a Tiefling Bard who just joined this group of adventurers (though one of them I do know), and heard that one of them was a lightweight alcohol drinker, specifically our Ranger. So, I decided to trick her into drinking a particularly heavy wine. The following is what happened;

DM: Alright, roll insight.

Ranger (OOC): *rolls a 4* Shit…

DM: Yeah, she thinks it’s perfectly fine and drinks it. She feels its effects immediately. Roll constitution.

Me (OOC): Please, roll a 1. PLEEEEASE, roll a 1…

Ranger (OOC): *rolls a 1* WHAT THE FUCK, MAN!? WHAT. THE. FUCK.

*group starts laughing*

DM: Alright, so… as she drinks it, she feels tipsy at first…. until she immediately collapses onto the floor, blacked out.

Me: Huh. I didn’t think it was THAT bad… *drinks the wine*

DM: … Now YOU roll for constitution.

Me (OOC): …. Well, I’m pretty good with alcohol, so yeah… *rolls a 2* …. shhhhhhit.

DM: You feel fine at first… but then also black out and collapse on a nearby table.

*everyone, including me, bursts out laughing. Best part? Next session is a murder mystery with both the Ranger and I wasted. Karma is a beautiful bitch.*

[Jeff]

[bunjywunjy]

@iguanamouth